JTHM: I am Jack's Homicidal Tendencies
by Scribe E
Summary: Something Wicked this way comes. Return of the Doughboys. Plus Project Mayhem underway. Chap 4 NOW UP!
1. Default Chapter

I've been thinking of this one for awhile now. I thought the character of Johnny the Homicidal Maniac and this certain "club" would go together hand in hand, seeing as how their dreams are almost intertwined. After all, aren't we all the singing dancing crap of the world?  
  
Johnny the Homicidal Maniac: I am Jack's Homicidal Tendencies  
  
"Mmmmm. Cherry Doom." Nny eyed the swirling liquid in the icy cold vat behind the glass. His tiny, claw-like hand grasped a large cup, placed a plastic dome on the lid, and pulled the lever to release the Cherry goodness into said cup. After the frozen cherry liquid reached the top of the dome, he slurped away the overflow and reached for the space where the straws with the spoon shapes at the end of them would normally be found. Johnny became disenheartened however when he found there to be none. He glanced at his filled cup, thinking whether or not to get a regular straw. He shook his head, thinking "This simply wouldn't do."  
  
"Excuse me sir." Nny said, wrapping on the desk in front of the cashier. The cashier was talking on the phone since Johnny had entered the 7-Helleven and had continued to do so throughout Nny's visit. With an irritated look, the cashier glanced up at the questioning homicidal maniac.  
  
"Hold on a second, would you? Somebody wants something." The cashier put his hand to the bottom of the phone, pulled it away from his ear, and once again looked up at Nny. "Yeah?"  
  
"Well you see, I think you're out of your spoon/straws for the icey doom machine and I was wondering if you could get some new ones?"  
  
"Straws are next to the machine." The cashier said, half ignoring Nny, pointing his finger to the icey doom machine. He then got back on the phone. "Anyway, as I was saying, she said to me...."  
  
"Look." Johnny said. "I know there are straws next to the machine. Any idiot can see that. You however, fail to see my problem here."  
  
"....Kaitlin, I'm gonna have to call you back. Some customer is being hysterical or something about fork/straws." The cashier then hung up the phone.  
  
"THEY'RE SPOON/STRAWS! For God's sake YOU WORK HERE! Have the common decency to learn the goods and services you convey." Nny slammed his fist against the top of the desk, getting a crazy look in his eye.  
  
"Whatever. We must be out of the straws you're talking about, otherwise they'd be out there. Get it? Just take a regular straw." The cashier once again pointed to the container of regular straws next to the machine.  
  
"HAVE YOU BEEN LISTENING? A REGULAR STRAW WON'T FULFILL MY NEEDS WHEN IT COMES TO CHERRY DOOM! I NEED A SPOON AT THE END TO PUT ME UNDER THE ILLUSION THAT I'M HAVING A DELICIOUS FROZEN TREAT WHEN I'M HALF WAY THROUGH WITH THE DRINK!" Johnny yelled, flailing his arms all around.  
  
"My suggestion is that you check yourself, before you wreck yourself pal." The cashier rolled up his sleeves and placed his fists against the counter like a caveman, pushing his face right in front of Nny's.  
  
"......Fine." Nny smiled and walked away from the cashier. He reached for a regular spoon from the container, placed it into the frozen concoction, walked up to the register and plunked $1.50 on the counter. "Have a nice night."  
  
"Yeah. You too." The cashier said sarcastically, putting the money into the register slots. Nny nodded to him and began to walk toward the door.  
  
"Oh wait. I forgot something." Nny swung around, pulling a large steak knife out of his pocket. He flung it at the startled cashier and before the irritated clerk had time to move out of the way, the knife was lodged in his eye socket. "NOW! LET'S SEE IF I CAN MAKE YOUR INTESTINES INTO BALOON ANIMAL SHAPES!"  
  
5 minutes later.....  
  
"Well, that was entertaining." Nny said, panting and covered in gore. He dropped the large knife and the ballon animal shaped intestines as he walked to the extra absorbant towels. Wiping off the blood and gore off his black shirt and pants, he picked up his Cherry Doom and sucked down the frozen liquid.   
  
"Yo Dante! You gotta see this porno I got. Its the best of both worlds......" The young man said, walking into the blood ridden convenience store to find Nny slurping down his Doom.  
  
"Uhhh. It was like this when I got here?" Johnny said, a half smile on his face. The young man, with the backwards cap, then fainted. Nny shrugged and walked by the downed kid. "Kids today, so sensatized to violence. Could've sworn that television, if not reality itself, had taken care of that already."  
  
"Your preconception of reality doesn't seem to improving with age, Johnny." Nail Bunny said as the bunny's head floated next to Johnny, slurping on his Cherry Doom.  
  
"So I've been told Nail Bunny, so I've been told." Nny walked down the dark street finishing the last of his frozen drink, throwing its cup and the steak knife into a nearby garbage can. "You know what I need Nail Bunny? More release."  
  
"More killing you mean?" The floating head sighed and shook its head in mid-float. "There are more constructive ways of using your time Johnny. Why not take up a painting course?"  
  
"Tried that. Killed the teacher with a painting of a sad clown. I thought it was ironic." Nny laughed to himself.  
  
"All right. How about exercise?"  
  
"Tried that to. Killed three joggers with a hacksaw for not tying their shoes. They could get hurt that way you know."  
  
"Television?"  
  
"Threw it at one of the drones in the basement for not reading Happy Noodle Boy."  
  
"Caligraphy?"  
  
"Stabbed the pen through a postal worker's neck."  
  
"Book Club?"  
  
"Lit the pages of Moby Dick on fire and stuffed them down some guy's throat."  
  
"Well Johnny you seem to be hopelessly lost in the act of homicidal maniacal tendencies." Nail bunny floated next to Johnny's head, slowly circling around him. Nny changed direction and went into a dark alley, thinking it a better shortcut home then his previous route.  
  
"So it would seem." Then, as if right on cue, a man with no shirt, covered in various bruises and bloody scratches bumped into Nny.   
  
"*Cough* *hack* Sorry man, got a little to wrapped up in the fight, you know?" The shirtless man whiped the blood off which was shooting out of his nose.  
  
"Quite all right." Nny said, patting off his shoulders and shirt, calming himself down before he had any familiar urges. "What are you doing?"  
  
"Dude, we're fighting." The shirtless man pointed to the crowd of men in the alley, circled around a pair of two more shirtless men kicking the crap out of each other. Nny looked past the man and was perplexed at what he saw.  
  
"And....you're enjoying this? What is this? Some kind of 'kick the shit out of each other' get together?"  
  
"Well..." The man looked around to make sure that no one in the club could hear him. "The first rule is that we don't talk about it."  
  
"What's the second rule?" Nny asked, scratching his head, still bewildered at the sight of two grown men beating the crap out of one another for the fun of it.  
  
"We don't talk about it." The man replied. Nny heard this and began to laugh up a storm. He laughed so hard and loud in fact, that many of the group chanting for the fight began to stop and look at him. As a few seconds went by, he began to laugh even more insanely, causing even the men in the middle of the fight to stop and give pause.   
  
"HAHAHAaaaaa...I haven't laughed like that in years." Nny wiped away the tears that were streaming down his face from laughter. "Anyway, I am intrigued by your ideas and wish to subscribe to your news letter."  
  
"Look," The shirtless man replied, talking once again after the group of men once again engaged in the fight. "Come to Lou's bar after closing in the basement. You'll find what you're looking for there. Remember, I didn't say nothing."  
  
"Actually that's a double negative. It means that you just said something." The man had already left and so did not hear Nny's correction. "Lou's Bar eh? Could be a fun time after all eh, Nail Bunny."  
  
"Could be." Nail Bunny replied, appearing out of thin air.   
  
A Day later at Lou's Bar......  
  
Johnny entered into the crowded basement of middle aged men with bad haircuts and dirty workshirts on. The air smelled of dried blood, just as Nny's basement did.   
  
"Heh. I like this place already." Nny made his way to the border of the center of the crowd and looked upon the one man standing in the middle. He was a thin yet muscular man with dark spiky hair and a number of bruises and cuts were found all over his body.   
  
"The first rule of Fight Club." The man said taking off a ring on his right hand. "We do not talk about fight club."  
  
"There's that rule again." Nny said to himself, looking at the shirtless man from the night before, giving a thumbs up to him. Nny forced a smile and waved back.  
  
"Next rule, WE DO NOT TALK ABOUT FIGHT CLUB!" Nny rolled his eyes thinking that the third rule would follow suit as the second and first. "Next, no shoes, no shirts, no weapons."  
  
"NO WHAT?" Nny yelled out as a number of knives, hacksaws, scythes, blades, and even a flamethrower, fell out of his jacket. All of the men slowly stepped away from Nny in fear of their lives, and paid attention to the man in the center once again.  
  
"My name is Tyler Durden and if this is your first night at Fight Club," Tyler smiled wickedly and looked straight at Nny. "You have to fight first."  
  
"......Groovy."   
  
End Chapter 1 


	2. Along Came a Nny

Behold, the next chapter.  
  
  
Chapter 2: Along came a Nny  
  
Nny sat through Tyler's description of the rest of the rules of Fight Club. He yawned and rolled his eyes many times, awaiting for the big event to start. The fact that he could not use his weapons was disheartening to say the least, yet he would participate in the fighting circle to find the inner depths of this club. Some part of Nny wanted to walk away from this male empowerment club, and yet there was something about Fight Club, something he couldn't quite put his finger on. Maybe it was the charasmatic Durden or the smell of blood and sweat in the air, but something drew Nny to this.  
  
"All right, Craig and the new guy." Durden pointed to the man next to him and then pointed at Nny and motioned for them to enter the ring. "Try not to get too beat up Goth boy, I hate having to make up excuses to the ambulances."  
  
Nny cringed slightly and looked at the large man he was about to fight. The large man smiled, taking off his shirt and cracking his knuckles, getting ready to fight. Nny looked at the man and then looked at Durden. The homicidal maniac raised his hand with a strange look on his face.  
  
"What? What is it?" Durden asked, looking at Nny.  
  
"Do I have to uhhhhh take off my shirt?" The crowd burst out into laughter at Nny's question.  
  
"HAHAHA! Leave it on if you want, but one should remember you shouldn't be embarassed about how you looks depending on how society thinks of you. You are not your fucking khakis. The Calvin Klein men are not the uber race that we should all aspire to be. So take off your shirt and get in the fucking circle."  
  
"..... No. No its not that." Nny said, scratching the back of his head. "It's more....well...don't you think a bunch of grown shirtless men, groping at each other in a crowded room of other disorderly men is sort of...well....portraying homosexual tendencies that have gone unfulfilled in their lives...?"  
  
The crowd stopped immediately, all having astonished looks on their faces. They then began to back away from each other, afraid Nny's words were true.  
  
"....Heh....hehe....HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Durden began to laugh so loudly and histarically that the crowd became even more frightened. "Ahhhhh. Goth boy, you're a card to say the least. Now get in there."  
  
Nny walked past the surrounding men and entered the circle. He smiled as he looked at his opponent, glaring back at him. Johnny had taken down enough full grown idiots to know that he had a nice chance of winning so he confidently began to strut around the circle, taking jabs at the large man. As Nny kept show boating, he did not see the fist of his opponent flying at his face. As it connected, Nny realized something, he was not a strong man. All the people he had taken down, he had killed with a knife, syringe, or electrocuted them with a tiny machine. He had gotten into one fight in his life and it wasn't even a fight, it was a beating by his would-be girlfriend, Devi. He had gotten his ass handed to him by a girl and his weak little body surely could not sustain a blow from a full grown, muscular man.  
  
"AAAAAKKKK!" Nny's head fell to the ground with a sickening 'thud'. He spit out a tooth or two and was barely able to hold conciousness as he got up to his feet. He looked back at his opponent who was ready to throw another blow. Nny futily put up his hands in front of his face for defense, but were slapped away by the large fists. Nny fell to the ground with the next blow, causing a large amount of blood to shoot out of his mouth.  
  
"You had enough, Goth Boy?" The man asked, looking at the downed Nny.  
  
"Yeah...heh...Think I've had enough." Nny wiped the blood off his face and tried to not lose conciousness.  
  
"Well that was an experience to remember, eh new kid?" Durden lit up a cigarette and placed on his yellowish glasses. The large man helped Nny up, much to Johnny's suprise, and patted him on the shoulder.  
  
"You need to work out a little more kid. Get some meat on your bones then bring it into the circle."  
  
"I'll keep that in mind. Can I put on my jacket and my shirt back on, its a tad drafty in this dank, dark pit." Nny walked away from the large man and put on his clothes. Picking up his numerous amounts of weapons in the corner, he strapped them into his jacket and walked to the door.  
  
"Where are you going kid?" Durden asked, puffing on his cigarrete.   
  
"Home. I sort of don't want to get my ass kicked anymore."  
  
"Really? And why would that be Johnny?" Nny stopped in his tracks and looked back at Durden, now smiling.  
  
"You...know my name?"   
  
"Of course I do Johnny or Johnny the homicidal maniac as I like to call you. I have connections that you couldn't even begin to fathom. Finding some of my members missing or appearing in the sewer in pieces makes me a little worried. So I had some of my guys put tabs on the man responsible, i.e. you, and found out enough about you to spark my interest."  
  
"Great?"  
  
"Hehehehe. You make me laugh kid, I like that. Come on, I'll buy you a beer."  
  
"I don't drink."  
  
"Of course you don't and all the better for you. It's good to be above such things as alcohol and cigarettes, they poison the body of society anyway."  
  
"Right." Nny said as the two of them walked out of the basement and into the bar section.  
  
An hour later.....  
  
"GET OUDDA TOWN!" Nny said, obviously drunk. Durden had coaxed him into having a beer after five minutes at the bar and the trap had been sprung. Nny had drunk beer after beer and had nearly drunk his own weight in alcohol at this point.  
  
"No 's true." Durden replied, also drunk. "My vision fo the world 's everybody in a city, plowing fields through the granite streets, in matching leather jumpsuits. It's very fasciinnaating."  
  
"Hmmmmm.... I sort of have a vision like that, except I'm there killing people who give me the stink eye."  
  
"HAHAHAHAHA!" Durden laughed. "Johnny, I think your a prime candidate for a tiny project of mine."  
  
"What would that be ole buddy ole pal?" Nny asked almost falling face first on the bar table.  
  
"It's called Project Mayhem." Durden handed Nny a crumpled up piece of paper with an address written on it. "Go to this address tomorrow. Wear whatever you want and get plenty of sleep tonight, you'll need it." Durden patted Nny on the shoulder and walked back down to the basement.  
  
"Huh." Nny stumbled to his feet and walked out of the bar.   
  
Later that night......  
  
"Good night Craig. Good fight tonight." A man patted the large man, Craig, on the back.  
  
"Thanks man, see you next week." The opponent of Nny earlier that night replied. He took out his car keys, walked up to the side of his blue chevy and opened up his door. He sat down on his comfortable leather chair and started up his car as he adjusted his mirrors. A terrifying look came to his face as noticed a large knife shining in the back of his car, reflecting off the mirror. Before the large man could jump out, a wire pulled against his throat, cutting off the circulation.  
  
"Hello there." Nny said, pulling the wire even tighter around Craig's neck.  
  
"Aaakk."  
  
"That's a common response for a man in your situation. I was going to let the whole fight thing slide cause you were so nice to me at the end of it. But you see Craigy..." Nny put his head right next to Craig's and whispered into his ear. "Nobody fucking does that to me. NOBODY FUCKING TOUCHES ME!"  
  
Nny pulled back on the wire as hard as he could, cutting through Craig's flesh, making his head fly straight off into his lap. A sick smile came upon Nny's face as he exited the car and placed the knife and wire back into his coat.  
  
"Que Sera Sera." Nny sang as he jumped through the parking lot with glee. "WHATEVER WILL BE WILL BE! THE WORLD IS NOT OURS TO SEE! Que Sera Sera!"  
  
End Chapter 2 


	3. A Day in the Life

JTHM: I am Jack's Homicidal Tendencies  
  
Chapter 3  
  
"Now here's what I'm thinkin'" Nny said, standing in front of Tyler Durden on his front porch at 7 in the morning. "Cut out the silver spandex uniforms, give the guys materials in the form of knives and other crude weapons of destruction, and watch them plunge the earth into a barren wasteland for our own amusement. Good plan eh?"  
  
"How many times am I going to have to tell you that that plan is not what I'm about Johnny?" Tyler lit up a cigarette and breathed in deep, smoke filling his lungs. "Its about the liberation of men."  
  
"Come on Tyler it would be fun!" Nny said, wearing completely black as per Tyler's request.   
  
"Tyler's not here." Johnny looked at Tyler strangely as Durden busted a gut and fell to the ground laughing. "Sorry inside joke. Now, GET OFF MY FRONT PORCH!"  
  
Durden slammed the door in front of Nny's face, almost clipping his nose off at the edge. Johnny looked at the door with astonishment for about three seconds, shrugged his shoulders, and began to walk away.   
  
"Wait a minute!" Durden flung open the door, yelling to Nny.  
  
"What? I'm leaving your porch like you told me to. The club meeting same time next week?"  
  
"No....No you idiot. Listen this is a test."  
  
"What is?"  
  
"This."  
  
Nny looked around confused, scratching his head.  
  
"This?"  
  
"THIS!" Durden pointed at the ground with both fingers, trying to make Nny understand.  
  
"OOOOHHHHHH.....I don't get it." Durden slapped his forehead at Nny's response.   
  
"All right, look, me kicking you off the porch is a test to see if you have the commitment to get into Project Mayhem. Get it?"  
  
"I'm not following you."   
  
"LISTEN! You get here on the porch..."  
  
"Right."  
  
"THEN, you stand here for three solid days with no food, water, or sleep."  
  
"OH NO!" Nny said slapping both his hands to his cheeks. "NOT THREE WHOLE DAYS WITHOUT BASIC NECESSITIES! WHATEVER SHALL I DO? Come on, you should know I can do that standing on my head for at least a month."  
  
"You're missing the point here my friend." Durden said, dropping his finished cigarette on the ground and stamping it out with his slipper.  
  
"The point of THIS test? And what would that be pray tell?"  
  
"It is only when we have lost everything that we are free to do anything." Durden said smuggly, as if awaiting to win the noble prize.  
  
"Thats it?" Nny raised an eyebrow and tapped his foot. "Oh yeah cause I have so much in my life as it is! What with the 401K plan and the white picket fence. Mustn't forget the wife and kids! Wait a minute, I HAVE NONE OF THOSE!"  
  
"......." Durden rolled his eyes.  
  
"Now if you'll excuse me." Nny pushed Durden to the side of the doorway entrance and walked into the delapidated house. "I have a hankering for some happy ham."  
  
"God save us all." Durden closed the door behind the homicidal maniac and walked back into the house.  
  
One week later.....  
  
"YOU GET OFF MY PORCH! YOU'RE TOO FUCKING OLD!" Durden said to one of the recruits standing on his porch, holding his position fast. He then hit the recruit in the legs with a broom but to no avail, the recruit did not flinch. "I'M CALLING THE COPS! HEAR THAT? BET YOU'LL LIKE PRISON WHERE THEY PASS YOU AROUND LIKE A BLOW UP DOLL! NOW GET OUTTA HERE!"  
  
The door slammed hard in front of the applicant's face, but once again, he did not flinch. Tyler walked to the kitchen in his familiar, moth ridden bathrobe and yawned. He walked over to the freshly made pot of coffee and poured it into a small coffee mug. He cracked his neck from side to side and smiled at the prospect of new recruits to his cause. Gulping down the coffee greedily, he decided to give the rookie recruits another lesson for kicks. He was in need of a few more good chuckles. He walked over to the door, swung it open with broom in hand and yelled out.  
  
"I SWEAR IF YOU DON'T GET......WHAT THE HELL?" Tyler looked down to see the corpse of the latest recruit, an umbrella buried in his back. Attached to the umbrella was Nny's hand which had obviously done the job of putting the newest recruit in his grave.   
  
"Hey Tyler how's it going?" Nny said non-chalantly.  
  
"How's it going?" Durden said boiling with anger. "HOW'S IT GOING??? DAMMIT JOHNNY THAT'S THE THIRD RECRUIT THIS WEEK! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET THIS PROJECT OFF THE GROUND IF YOU KILL EVERY APPLICANT?"  
  
"What can I tell you, he made fun of my sexy ways." Nny struck a disco pose.  
  
"First off thats just wrong. Second, he's not allowed to talk."  
  
"Well..." Nny said trying to cover his own ass. "He was using his brainy to think it I bet."   
  
Tyler sighed.  
  
"Would you mind joining me in the kitchen for a second Johnny?" Nny nodded to Durden's request and walked right behind his new friend, still covered in his latest victims blood. "Put your hand on the table."  
  
"All righty." Nny said, placing his hand on the kitchen table. "What is this about? Another test maybe?"  
  
"No." Durden said picking up a large gallon filled with a liquid foreign to the homicidal maniac. "This is a chemical agent."  
  
"Huh...AAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Nny cried out as Durden poured the burning corosive acid on Nny's hand and held it in place. Nny thrashed about violently as he continued screaming but to no avail.  
  
"This will hurt more than anything you have ever experienced. It will leave a scar. However from this you will take away something great."  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAA!"  
  
"Listen. You can either get water and make it worse or you can..." Durden was interrupted by the large knife stabbing through his own hand courtesy of Nny. "AAAAAAAAAAA!"  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"  
  
Both men screamed frantically as Nny searched for something to stop the burning and Tyler tried to pull out the knife which was plunged not only deep into his hand, but also through the table. For the next five minutes both men continued crying out in pain at the top of their lungs, trying their best to make the pain stop. As if on cue, both men accomplished what they wanted to do, with Nny stopping the burning using the required chemical solution and Durden ripping the knife out of his hand.   
  
"Johnny?" Durden said after holding his hand and breathing heavy for a good ten minutes.  
  
"Yeah Tyler?" Johnny said having done the same thing.  
  
"You're an asshole."  
  
Later that night.....  
  
"So why are we here again?" Johnny asked Tyler as they sat outside the Lyposuction facility. Both Tyler and Johnny's hands were bandaged up and both had had a good laugh about the whole ordeal in general, that is of course after a large time of cursing exchanged between the two.  
  
"To make soap." Durden said, hopping over the fence to get to the waste depository. He pulled out a bag of fatty tissue from the bin as Johnny sprawled over the fence.  
  
"And to do this we need human flesh, hence the bags filled with all the flesh from liposuctions."  
  
"Is that all we need?" Johnny said, hopping over the fence, leaving Durden to his own devices.  
  
"Wait! Where are you...? Aw forget it." Durden continued his task, throwing bag after bag of liquid fat over the fence. After getting a sufficient amount, he leaped over the fence only to see Nny standing near the bags with a sinister smirk on his face.   
  
"Where did you go? Why didn't you help me with these?"  
  
"Well..." Nny said stepping to the side, revealing four dead bodies behind him. "I was able to kill three homeless guys and a clown while you were busy with that liposuction crap. Now I have a cheese grater in my back pocket so just start hacking away and we'll have enough soap to last us through the....Tyler?"  
  
Johnny looked over to his side, having lost sight of his new friend, and now saw him puking into a nearby sewer. After a solid minute of hurling the contents of his stomach into the dirty sewer, Durden sprung to his feet and wiped his mouth off.   
  
"Honestly Johnny, not when I've eaten." Durden smiled and picked up the bags of fat and walked away from the homicidal maniac.  
  
"Hmph. Swear nobody respects the cheese grater anymore." Nny then skipped happily behind Tyler.  
  
The next morning......  
  
Johnny was sitting on his bed, thinking about all the things that had happened in the past weeks and reflecting on his new friend Tyler. Having, of course, gotten no sleep the night before, his eyes were bulging out of his head. He scratched his chin and resisted the temptation of the horrible thing we like to call sleep. Seeing as how it was so early in the morning, Nny was the only one of the two in the house to hear the knock at the door. He rose from his bed in a fit.  
  
"I swear if it's another one of those applicants for project whatever, I'll just....well you know." Nny grabbed a knife out of his pocket and held it behind his back. He walked down the stairs and edged toward the door. His boney hand twisted the door knob and flung the door open wide.  
  
"Hi." And there she was. She was wearing a black funeral dress with black mascera and black lipstick. Her hair was a mess and her body reeked of cigarrettes and valium. She looked like a corpse that had managed to dig its way out of its own grave and walk amongst the living once more. "I'm Marla."  
  
"......Heeelllloooooo." Johnny's knife dropped to the ground behind his back as a lovesick puppy dog grin came across his face.   
  
End Chapter 3 


	4. We've Danced this Dance Before....

Johnny the Homicidal Maniac: I Am Jack's Homicidal Tendencies  
  
Chapter 4: We've danced this dance before....  
  
Marla walked into the house shared by Tyler and Nny like a hurricane moves into a small, mid-western town. Her stolen platform shoes scratched against the floor like nails on a chalkboard. The smoke coming out of her mouth spewed forth as if she was a mystical dragon, ready to give chase to a wounded villager. Her hair was spikey and strewn all over her head, almost as if it was sentient and trying to escape the jail known as Marla's head. Her makeup was old, seemingly reapplies numerous times without being removed. Marla didn't care for this thing we called life, and it showed. Nny was adrift in fantasies the second she met his eye.  
  
"So....is Tyler here?" Marla took one last puff of her cigarette, threw it to the ground, and stamped it out.  
  
"Tyler? I don't know any Tyler. Never been a Tyler, never has been a Tyler, Project Mayhem and all that rot." Johnny said, saluting the empty space in front of Marla, causing her eyebrow to raise up.  
  
"Riiiiiggghhhhttt. You have to be Johnny." Marla stuck out her hand disinterested as a greeting, causing Nny to shriek back in terror at the thought of physical comfort, even in such a menial show as a handshake.  
  
"I don't really believe in handshakes mind you." Nny said smiling. "So many nasty diseases and all out there."  
  
"You think I'm diseased?"  
  
"One can never tell, even with the female of the species." Nny watched as Marla reached for another cigarrette from her purse and brought it to her mouth. Almost at contact with her lips, Johnny snatched the death stick from her mouth and waved it in front of her face smiling. "Sometimes its especially the female of the species."  
  
".......Touche." Marla responded. "The bad thing with society, with their cigarrettes and their diseases as you so put it, is that people kill themselves for all the wrong reasons."  
  
"And you?" Johnny leaned against the wall, watching as Marla investigated the kitchen.  
  
"Oh I kill myself for all the right reasons." Nny's eyes widened as she burst into laughter. Nny tried to resist the temptation to laugh, but a smile snuck its way onto the homicidal maniac's face. Then a small giggle, and then full blown laughter engulfed Nny.   
  
"Ahehehe. *Ahem*. Listen, Marla right?" Marla nodded. "Tyler should make his presence known anytime now. I'll be in the basement."  
  
"Doing what?" Marla asked, looking out the window.  
  
"Oh, a little of this, a little of that, you know how it is." Nny smiled and slammed the basement door behind him. He walked down the dank stair case, muttering and shaking his head. When he reached the soil floor of the basement, he began pacing back and forth frantically. Surrounded by makeshift bunk beds created for the upcoming 'recruits' as Tyler kept calling them, Nny paced faster with every step.  
  
"Can't say this is the best thing to happen right now." Nny said stammering, his insanity apparent. "Feels nice to....FEEL? FELT? EMOTIONS? No! NO! What's been happening to me lately? I haven't felt this serene in a long time. This all happened so fast. Tyler and his club. This whole project thing. Now walks in another damn heart complex with legs. GOD! Have I really changed that much since I've lived here?"  
  
"I'd say." A voice sprang behind Nny, causing the skinny figure to whip around to see the source. "Isn't that right?"  
  
"I would have to agree with you on that." Another voice agreed with the previous voice as Nny tried to make out the figures in the darkness. "Our little Nny was trying to make a break for the fence, as it were and I can't say that I approve."  
  
"Quite right Mr. Eff."   
  
"Oh no." Johnny said softly as the two doughboys walked into his sight of view. Their tiny styrofoam bodies taking steps closer to their apparent slave and master in the form of Nny.   
  
"Johnny C. You didn't think you could really try and ditch the likes of D-Boy and I for long without the eventual backdraft did you? The monster grows restless and you will DAMN DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!"  
  
"For once in my life I must agree with my lesser half." The sadistic Pyscho Doughboy responded, pointing to his partner in crime. "We both agree that the monster must be fed for the time being. Of course I'm not the one who has the Pinnochio complex."  
  
"OH NOT THIS AGAIN!" Mr. Eff yelled back as Nny began cradling into the fetal position. "AT LEAST I'M NOT TRYING TO DIE UNLIKE SOME PEOPLE!"  
  
"RIGHT! LIKE THIS WORLD IS EVEN WORTHY OF HAVING MY PRESENCE! MY TIME SHOULD BE SPENT ELSEWHERE!" D-boy pouted and turned his back to Mr. Eff.   
  
"Your time! You miserable....Awwww." Mr. Eff stopped in mid-sentence looking down at the cradled Johnny C. "See what your horrid shouting has done, you've upset our meal ticket."  
  
"No. No. No. No. No. No." Johnny kept muttering to himself, clamping his hands over his eats and swaying back in forth on the floor.  
  
"Yes to the above Johnny C. Ours is not a relationship to be taken lightly. You are stuck with us, and for the time being we are stuck with you. We can understand some down time my be needed every once in awhile, but you have begun pouring yourself into other ventures, into the dementia of others."  
  
"What?" Johnny questioned D-Boy.  
  
"WHAT? YOU KNOW DAMN WELL WHAT! THIS!" Mr. Eff yelled out, pointing at the beds and basement. "THIS SHIT! This accursed plot made by some stupid 'free the masses' terrorist who can't even pull his own head out of his ass."  
  
"He's not some ridiculous figure head." Nny said, rising to his feet, teeth scraping against one another. "He's free. He works his life as he wants to, and yet has somehow managed to wade through all the shit in life to build his own conclusions."  
  
"Oh really?" D-Boy jumped on Nny's shoulder and slapped him over the back of the head. "WAKE UP! This 'Tyler Durden' is so wrapped up in his own self delusion that his downfall is more than assured."  
  
"It is a pity that we didn't get to him first, what with his potential and all." Mr. Eff snickered. "He would have made a good puppet. You're the only puppet we need for now Johnny."  
  
"NO!" Nny reached for his back pocket, whipped out a large army knife and swung it at Mr. Eff's face. Inches away from the styrofoam horror's visage, Nny stopped unexpectedly. "Why....urrrrgggg....aren't.....you...ROADKILL?"  
  
"Oh silly Johnny C." D-Boy responded, watching as Nny tried to push his arm to deliver the killing blow to his styrofoam oppresor, but to no avail, the arm was planted inches away from the desired target. "Don't forget that you poured a lot of yourself into us, enough so in fact that we can control you to a degree now."  
  
"GODDAMMIT NO! FACE GO SPLATTY!" Nny yelled out, trying with all his strength to jam the knife through Mr. Eff's portly face.  
  
"Not today my friend. Listen, the beast behind the wall still needs more time until completion and apparently my colleague needs more time for his own endeavors, so we need you to continue doing what you do."  
  
"I've been killing." Johnny said hesitantly.  
  
"This is true. Not for the right reasons however, and not enough as it would seem the monster is getting hungry and restless. YOU DON'T FUCK WITH US NNY, WE FUCK WITH YOU GOT IT?" Mr. Eff cried out, fists clenched in rage.  
  
"Always the calm thinker eh Mr Fuck?"  
  
"Bite me."  
  
"Indeed. We're willing to compromise for the good of the cause Nny. You can operate here if you wish. However, there will be no more of this lovey dovey shit. No more swooning over a half dead girl. No more palling around with Mister Fight Club. Your character has changed without our 'tender' guidance here and that is a mistake needing to be rectified."  
  
"No..." Nny said, still desperately trying to kill them.  
  
"BUCKLE UP FUCKER! TIME TO FALL INTO THE FOLD!" Both Mr Fuck and Psycho Doughboy laughed hysterically as they slinked back into the darkness. The darkness seemed to swallow them up as Nny watched in terror. He knew it was coming, the doughboys influence was once again taking hold. He smiled as he rose to his feet and stared into the darkness. Nny's character had once again become that devoted to 'painting the wall'. The wall may have been different but the situation was still the same and the beast was still hungry.   
  
"Sir?" A number of men dressed in black walked down to Johnny, standing alone in the darkness, smiling at nothingness.  
  
".........."  
  
"Sir. Mister C. We need to make a few changes to accomodate upcoming recruits. Mister Durden said you may be able to give us some suggestions?"  
  
"........Levels." Nny sprang out in a cold, deep voice, scaring many of the younger recruits.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Thousands of levels. More walls. More traps for the disenfranchised. More everything, aheh....AHEH.....AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Nny laughed maniacally as the men began uneasily picking up shovels and getting to work on the homicidal man's request.  
  
One week later.....  
  
"For a compost heap, you certainly are working fast!" Durden said, walking around in his bathrobe, smoking on a stoagee. "WHAT A BUNCH OF SPACE MONKEYS! HOO HA!"   
  
Tyler slapped the men's bald heads as he walked up the stairs of his delapidated home. He walked over to the door to Nny's room and knocked on the door. The door creaked open slowly, revealing a dark Johnny, his eyes cold and lazy (most likely from sleep deprivation), standing in front of an even darker room.  
  
"Hey man, where have you been. We haven't been graced with your presence in awhile."  
  
"I've been...." Nny turned his head slightly away from Tyler then turned back quickly. "busy."  
  
"I can understand. After all the Marla banging I've been doing, seems like I haven't had a moment for myself, know what I mean?"  
  
"Ugghh." Johnny muttered. "Enjoy your fornication."  
  
"You could always get seconds if you wanted, Marla had an eye on you believe you me." Durden said smiling, hoping to get a response out of Nny.  
  
"I don't want any of that shit. Go away." Nny tried to close the door only to find Tyler's hand keeping it open.  
  
"Something's wrong here Nny, even for you."  
  
"I SAID GO AWAY!" Nny quickly sliced the top of Tyler's hand with a knife he had grabbed off the nearest counter and slammed the door.   
  
"AAAAA! WELL THEN FUCK YOU TOO!" Durden yelled out, nursing his new cut.  
  
"Sir, the diagnostics for the latest project is underway, we just need your 'ok' and we can get underway."  
  
"Yeah, sure." Tyler stared at Nny's door for a few seconds, then turned and walked down the stairs. "With this, Project Mayhem will truly make its way into the history books. Society will be turned upside fucking down and we'll be there to show them the way, the way to anarchy. Fuckin brilliant."   
  
Tyler smiled to himself, slapping the man next to him over his bald head and walking into the kitchen.  
  
Meanwhile, in Johnny C's room.........  
  
"So you believe that a steady diet of Rage Against the Machine and System of a Down can make you follow some asshole to the brinks of hell? Heh." Nny paced in his room in front of dozens of tied up, blind folded men with gags in their mouths. His room was filled with various torture devices and several bodies were hanging from the wall, blood painted over everything. "You don't know what hell is. Guess what though?"  
  
"Uuughhhhh." One of the bodies strapped to the wall moaned out.  
  
"Pardon me, always work to be done." Nny casually skipped over to the victim, smiling and brandishing a large butcher knife. He first cut the victim's wrists then made a large slash on his throat. "There, thats better, more for the wall. Anyway, lets talk about all of your roles in the drama that is my rancid existence shall we? Let's talk about Project Blood."  
  
End Chapter 4.  
  
Nny has gone back under the control of the Doughboys. Durden is underway on revealing Project Mayhem. Will Durden's lowly beginnings in Fight Club prove to be dangerous for the world? How will Johnny come into play for both his and Tyler's needs? What is Project Blood?   
  
Coming soon.....  
  
Johnny the Homicidal Maniac: I am Jack's Homicidal Tendencies  
  
Chapter 5 


End file.
